Thursday, August 30, 2012

Sister Ella - Chapter Two

It was quite dark as Ellen slid into the driver’s seat of her old Volkswagen Beetle, and chills immediately crept down the length of her spin. It always happened when she drove at night. Every part of her childhood was highlighted in excruciating detail, and it squeezed her chest in a vice for an excruciating moment before she could shake it off. No matter how many years had past, she always got that feeling.
It wasn’t exactly her fault, although it took several years to accept that. She had been moody and grumpy. Her father had gone and got remarried to some woman who had two little daughters with blue eyes and blond curls. He loved them, which, in seven-year-old logic, meant he loved her less, and she hated him for it. She said many an atrocious thing to him, accusing him of hating her and never loving her mother who died shortly after giving birth to Ellen.
He had shouldered it all, calmly repeating that he loved Ellen and her mother, but he also loved Susan and her little girls. He thought she would eventually understand, which was why he proceeded with the wedding, but Ellen was stubborn. She refused to listen to him or to talk to any of the three new members of the family, shutting herself up in her room with her books. She spat mean words at her new stepsisters, and she kicked anyone who tried to approach her.
Susan and her girls didn’t like Ellen either. They mistakenly called her “Ella,” and her father never corrected them because he thought it “cute.” They whispered things about her when they thought she wasn’t listening. They would have dinner and go to movies without her when she refused to eat with her stepmother and stepsisters. Ergo, it was not out of the ordinary when her father announced that they were going to a restaurant that Ellen locked her bedroom door and recalcitrantly ignored the announcement.
Her father, stepmother, and stepsisters left soon after. They were gone for many hours, and Ellen grew more furious with every passing second. Her father was abandoning her to go frolic with a new family. Why didn’t he just go put her in an orphanage if he hated her so much? She stomped around her bedroom, thinking how much easier life would be if she were an orphan.
He didn’t come home as hours slipped past her bedtime. She was far too upset to sleep, and so she sat up with her favorite stuffed Allosaurus, Alli, and waited. She moved down from her bedroom to the couch in the living room. She would stare at them when they came it expressing her loathing in a creased brow and wrinkled nose. She would tell her father exactly what she had thought earlier, that she’d be happier as an orphan. She wouldn’t listen to his response.  Instead, she would march up to her room and slam the door as loud as she could. Then she would lock her door and go read about kids without parents who went on adventures.  Ellen waited for the moment to enact her plan.
Then, the phone started to ring. She didn’t answer it. She hated answering phones, but the answering machine performed the task for her. The evil device began spewing horrible stories of car crashes and hospitals. But they were just stories, weren’t they?
Ellen crawled under the dining room table, wrapping a blanket around her head to block out the noise while holding onto Alli tightly with all her strength.
It couldn’t be true. Things like that didn’t happen. They couldn’t happen. They were probably just playing a mean joke on her. It wasn’t true, so she didn’t need to cry. She just had to stay angry. She just had to hold onto Alli, and then her father would come home soon, and he would say he loved her and that the woman and her little girls wouldn’t live with them anymore. Then, they would happy together again. That was it. It had to be it.
The phone started addressing her by name, but she didn’t answer it. She kept her place, convinced her father would be striding through the front door at any moment.
The sun was spilling over the horizon when the knock finally came at the door. Ellen didn’t hear it. Her ear-protective equipment was too powerful over the timid knock. Then she saw uniformed legs entered the house. She knew she was wrong about the joke. Something seemed to snap shut inside of her.
It took a lot of coaxing from a friendly-faced, young police officer to convince Ellen to move from underneath the table. It took more to get her into the squad car with Alli still squeezed against her chest, a blanket dragging from one fist, and a thin nightgown over her shoulders.
The aseptic wards were always painted in vivid detail in her memory. The police officer walked beside Ellen, and all the nurses seemed to be staring. The whole thing was so white, it was like standing in a blizzard that chilled her from head to toe. She felt very cold.
They let her see her father, and she knew he was going to die. He had so many tubes and wires, he didn’t seem human, but some sort of cyborg like in the movies she and him watched before the woman and her girls had come. She walked to his side. His eyes were closed. He was covered in bandages. He wasn’t the right color, the normal color, anymore, but shades of pasty white, vomit yellow, and a palette of fuchsia.
She didn’t know what part of him she could touch. Everything seemed to be attached to wires or some sort of strange colors. His eyes were closed. He looked helpless. But, more than that, he looked sad. Sad at his helplessness. As if he realized in some far off place that he was leaving his daughter behind. His three daughters and a wife.
It hit her in that moment why he could have so easily given his heart away to that woman. Because she needed him. Just as Ellen herself had needed her father growing up. The woman and her girls needed someone to take care of them. Her father did what was needed.
And so would she.
Ellen asked to see her stepsisters. They were talking sadly to each other. One had a broken leg, the other a large bandage around her head. They both froze as Ellen approached. She knew had been awful to the younger girls before, and she could understand their trepidation.
“Here you go, Anabelle,” Ellen handed the older one her blanket. “It will keep you warm even when it’s snowing.”
“Here you go, Clara,” Ellen handed the younger one Alli. “Alli is an Allosaurus and will protect you from anything. “
She realized it was the first time she had used their names, instead of referring to them as “the girls” when she was feeling nice or many more unpleasant names when she wasn’t.
For some odd reason, the police officer seemed to find Ellen’s actions sweet, and was smiling softly at her with glistening eyes. Ellen didn’t understand, but asked to go see her stepmother. She, like Ellen’s father, was connected to many wires and tubes, but Susan was conscious. Her eyes stared deep into the white ceiling above her.
Ellen approached, standing solemnly at the bedside, as straight as a soldier. “Clara and Anabelle are talking. They are fine. I made Alli protect them. I’m sorry for being mean to you before,” she said swiftly. The woman reached out her hand and grasped Ellen’s. Ellen remembered staring at it, not quite understanding the purpose of the motion.
“Thank you,” Susan croaked. Ellen just nodded. She left the hospital.
Ellen fell easily into the role of caregiver, as she was the only one left physically unhurt. She made their meals, and she learned how to use the dishwasher and washing machine from the helpful neighbors that assisted her at first. Ellen never let anyone see her sad, but tried to remain as her father did: solid as a rock and always giving.
At first, it had been hard. Ellen cried at night a few times. She would muffle her tears in a pillow so no one would hear her. Ellen always got the feeling that maybe, if she had decided to go, they would’ve left at a different time and not get hit by the drowsy truck driver. She told herself a million times that it made no difference now. Her father would never come back. Even when she felt lost and cold, she had to keep going. She had to, even through tears.
But then, it got easier. She knew it’s what her father would’ve wanted, and she found enormous strength through that. She cared for her younger sisters exactingly. She comforted Susan when the woman lapsed into tears at the scars on her body or the loss of her second husband. She became the comforter, but it seemed that did not improve her family’s memory of her name. She was still Ella. But now, they had jokingly referred to her as Sister Ella, because her solemn dedication to care was resembling that of a nun, they said. She did not feel like a nun, she just felt empty, but she did not reject it.
It had been many years since then. She had graduated high school, and gone to college on a scholarship. She had tutored her sisters to no end until they too managed scholarships two and three years after her. They were now attending school with her, Anabelle studying nursing and Clara, teaching.
Ellen freed herself from her car, attempting to lose the memories with it. It was strange, but even with such vivid recollections, she felt as if her father was fading into the shadows of her memory. He was almost becoming a myth or legend or the personification of enlightenment ideals more than an actual person. She couldn’t remember his laugh.
She shook her head, trying to clear up her brain and its darn preponderance for personal history and introspection. She could maybe get a few hours of sleep before the Clara and Anabelle woke up.
“Hey Sister Ella!” Clara declared jovially. She was dressed  head-to-toe in pink yoga clothes. “Early class on Sunday. Wanna come?” She had a round face and utterly sunshine-like personality that made her seem several years younger than her eighteen years.
Still, the happiness was almost grating after a night of cleaning. Ellen rubbed her eyes and stifled a yawn. “Do you want me to come? I thought Anabelle always went with you.”
“Anabelle says she doesn’t feel well,” Clara explained.
“Then, I’d best go look after her,” Ellen said, tracing the line to the bedroom across the hall where she knew Anabelle would be sleeping.
“But, I don’t want to go alone!” Clara pouted.
“Okay, fine, but give me five minutes to check on Anabelle and get some caffeine in me,” Ellen said, attempting to rouse herself into action. She met a drowsy Anabelle with a cup of tea, a heated blanket, and a quick foot rub. She then pulled on some sweatpants and a t-shirt and made a fool of herself in the stifling hot yoga class while her younger sister easily accomplished each pose.
The constant failure did not upset her, and she she even managed to continue the energy to keep trying as her thoughts were diverted elsewhere. She thought of the guy.
She wasn’t positive of his name. She had given him a false name, so he could just as easily given her one. His name could be something more generic, like Aidan or Alex or Alan or something completely different. Still, he seemed like a smart, nice guy, even if he did support economic separation of education.
Ellen started composing emails to him, thinking of the political topics she could write about or anecdotes she could share. She felt she still fell in the range of mildly socially awkward, but she was working on it. And he was the one who instigated the conversation, so she couldn’t be that repulsive.

Ellen was exhausted and sweaty when she came home. Still, she sat herself down to compose the email as Clara used the house’s only shower.

Hey Prince Atamai,

Just thought I’d send you a preliminary email so you know mine for when the shoe doctor finishes his rounds.
I really enjoyed our conversation, and I’d like to continue our discussion on educational reform sometime and perhaps the resulting robot revolution.

All the best,

P.S. Robot for President in 2108! :)

Ellen smiled as she pressed send, but her busy brain instantly sought the thousand different misinterpretations Atamai could have of her email. What if he didn’t know she was joking? Had she been too casual? Had she been too formal? Had she been too forward?
Luckily, she was saved for such second-guessing by Clara freeing up the shower. The rest of the day dissolved into repetitive homework (her own and her sisters’) and slogging up to the computational chemistry lab she was in to work on her program. These activities required just enough brain power to silence any nagging thoughts, but not so much she wasn’t able to complete the tasks with her foggy, sleep-deprived brain.
By the time she dropped into bed, almost falling asleep before she hit the pillow, she had forgotten about the email.

Her alarm clock was ringing. Ellen gave an enormous groan and summoned herself from bed. She put some coffee in the coffee machine, and lit up the small kitchen with the light of her laptop. She always had eleven new e-mails each morning, from various spam, word-of-the-days, quote-of-the-days, newsletters, and the like that always appeared every morning. She had twelve today. She scrolled through, and found one by Atamai. A funny feeling started in her toes and squirmed its way to her ears. She didn’t know what it was, but it made her nervous enough so that she opened and read every other email beside that one first.
Then, she clicked the email, but chickened out. Ellen quickly opened another browser to check the news instead before she could read a word of what was written. She scanned a couple of articles before she convinced herself she was being silly.  Then, and only, then, did she click back to Atamai’s email with a deep breath.

Hello Joelle,

I am afraid I forgot that the shoe doctor was on sabbatical for a while in New Zealand. He’ll be back soon for this urgent surgery.
I’d love to discuss educational reform more, that is unless you think I’m heartless for the truck driver comment. If so, perhaps we can talk about my recent million dollar contribution to the Global Education Fund. :)
The party was very enjoyable. I heard the auction raised one hundred fifty thousand dollars for UNICEF.
What do you think about the new European stimulus package? I cannot say that I agree with all ideas of Keynesian economics so I find the idea of spending a trillion dollars on building new roads when you are several trillion dollars in debt absurd.



P.S. Cyborg for President in 2096!

She was smiling, ear-to-ear smiling at 5:30 am. Now that was a rarity. She didn’t quite know why she was so happy. But she was. Still smiling, she formulated a response.

Greetings Atamai,

How goes it? The whole cobbler thing is completely fine. I can hardly complain if I am getting something for nothing, right?
As for the economic stimulus, I think there is something to Keynesian Economics (I mean, if you’re poor, so you save money and do nothing else, you’re still going to be poor. I think there might be a parable in the Christian Bible to that effect). However, I believe this only applies as long as the money is spent in the right places, namely education and research. I must admit, I am probably pretty darn biased as an active participant in both, but I believe that the success of a nation hinges on those two things.
Sure, make-work projects are nice and all, but you don’t really get much out of it. You’re just pumping your country full of hot air when you pay people money you don’t have. It’s not going to fix the holes, but it might work temporarily. I think if you want to do make-work projects, you should at least do it in something that the people need, like food. That way, foods costs less and the poor can eat. Win, win.
Yeah, so I am probably oversimplifying economics incredibly, but with all of my twenty one years of knowledge, this is the solution I come to.
What do you think about nuclear power? I think it shouldn’t be an option until we think of a better way of getting rid of the radioactive waste than burying it. Moreover, the consequences of things going wrong with a nuclear power plant are just too large for it to be considered seriously. As callous as it may sound, a tanker sinks, you kill some cute little seals. If a nuclear power plants goes Chernobyl on you, then you have miles of now uninhabitable land and fallout for millions of people. Nuclear power also takes up more water per a kilowatt hour than any energy source besides biofuel.  That’s why I think we should do more research on solar, wind, and tidal energy.


Joelle de Lafayette the Education-Promoting, Nuclear-Destroying Computational Chemist

P.S. I think I am going to get a cape with the above title on it to wear around lab and to formal occasions. I’ll get for one for you that will say Prince Atamai the Keynesian-Denying, Global-Education-Fund-Donating, Royal Liaison to the Shoe Doctor. :)

Her coffee was now cold, but she downed it in one gulp, oddly energized even without it. However, life soon had a way of taking away that energy as she was put through the wringer of several lectures, an unending chemistry lab, and her own research. When Ellen finally returned home, she could barely keep her eyes open, but she checked her e-mail quickly anyway.

Hello Joelle,

That is perhaps the most incredible cape of which I have heard. I may just have to get one made. Somehow, though, I do not believe my parents would be terribly pleased if I modeled it during galas and balls. It is a rather terrible shame.
I think the problem with attempting to employ the poor to farm is the amount of arable land and the location of the work. The urban poor are the ones desperately in need of jobs. Beyond that, there is little return from farming besides the immediate gain of food.
As for nuclear power, it has one of the greatest potential for cleanly supplying energy to an entire multi-billion member population. Solar is still terribly inefficient, which would mean an awful lot of land covered by panels. With wind, you alter avian migration patterns. Plus, they can be aesthetically detrimental. Recently, homeowners vetoed the proposed wind farm on Martha’s Vineyard for exactly that reason. With both solar and wind, you also must have a means of storing the energy, and our current batteries are not prepared to match the need we would have. With hydroelectric power, habitat destruction is intrinsic. It is the same with tidal power, which also has the detriment of the previously mentioned storage problem.
Hence why I am a Uranium fan!
As a chemist, do you have a favorite element?

From your incredibly contrary but always well-meaning friend,


Ellen felt awake again. It was funny, how each argument he put forth made her feel more invigorated. She was a little abashed at how easily he poked holes in her arguments, but she was not beat. She quickly googled different topics to make sure her points were valid as she typed up her rebuttal, and she smiled while doing it.

Salutations to my incredibly contrary but always well-meaning friend,

So, let’s start with the urban poor thing. One option would be to provide transportation from urban areas to farming areas along with housing and educational opportunities. Of course, whenever you try to round up people in cattle cars for the “betterment of society,” they best be doing it under their own free will. (I’m not Hitler, I swear!) I think most people, if they were jobless, would jump on the opportunity to have work, food, and a house.
You also point out the finite quantity of arable land available. That is also a big problem, not just in an economic downturn, but for future development of humanity. However, I think society will begin to instigate urban farms to help with this problem. Then, we wouldn’t even need to move people. This development would also mean long-term gains as it is really only through actually working with urban farms that their structures and cultivation methods can be optimized.
As to your concerns about alternative energy: enter scientists. Many scientists are currently working on all those problems. Then, we can have utterly clean energy without being the acne on the face of the world. Obviously we couldn’t switch to renewable energy overnight, but I definitely think we should put our research focus in that area instead of playing with uranium.
As to my favorite element, I think I would have to say boron. It has a rebel side, saying ‘eff you’ to the octet rule they all taught us in freshman chemistry, and it’s an awesome lewis acid without hydrogen. Hydroboration-oxidation can be one’s saving grace in the middle of a nasty organic chemistry final. Boron also forms these awesomely geometric carborane compounds that can be nido (looks kinda like a nest), arachno (looks kinda like a spider), or closo (looks kinda like a cage for a very tiny prisoner. If I were an evil, super genius, I think I would shrink down the hero and put him in said cage while laughing maniacally). I always picture boron as the laid back type of guy in the periodic table that’s very humble and under-appreciated, but has an aforementioned wild side and does amazing things.
That was probably more than you ever wanted to know about boron, but you asked a chemist what her favorite element was so you must deal with the consequences.
I’m trying to think up some controversial subject we can debate. Gay marriage? Abortion? Gun rights? Grossly overpaid musicians and athletes? Take your pick. As you might guess, I’ve got definite opinions on all of them.

Without wax,


Satisfied with her email, Ellen collapsed into bed and fell promptly asleep.

Ellen woke up late the next day. This meant she was all but running to her first class, barely dressed and backpack half shut. She jumped from class to class without a moment’s rest until noon when the UNICEF council met.
“Hey guys,” Ellen said breathlessly as she walked in, dumped her backpack unceremoniously on the table, and collapsed into a chair.
“So, how goes wee Ellen’s budding relationship?” Pat asked immediately, turning around in her chair with fingers templed and an eyebrow raised.
“We’ve just emailed,” Ellen said, shrugging in an attempt at nonchalance.
Pat and Dakota looked at eachother, then burst out laughing.
“What?” Ellen asked, ears growing hot as she examined both faces.
“It’s so cute to see Ellen all in love,” Pat taunted.
“I never said I was in love,” Ellen said, her blush deepening. “I just said we’ve emailed.”
“If we lived like five hundred years ago, you’d be at each other’s balconies. Ellen, oh Ellen. Wherefore art thou Ellen? Deny thy major and refuse thy brain. Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and we shall intellectualize our emotions,” Pat declared dramatically. Dakota applauded.
“Let’s work on UNICEF stuff for a while, okay? I’ve gone through the data, and we raised $142,650 thanks to Marie’s and her parents’ wonderful connections,” Ellen said, pulling out her folder.
“Holy hell, that’s a lot of money. That could, like, pay for cousin’s med school,” Pat exclaimed.
“Or a house or a really, really, nice car,” Dakota said, leaning back in his chair to imagine such a vehicle.
“Or a lot of vaccinations and wells,” Ellen said, grateful to be out of the spotlight.
“I was contacted earlier today by a UNICEF representative. They wanted to do a short story on us for their newsletter. Is that okay with everyone? I was going to give them a few pictures from the auction and that trip to Ecuador we did last summer,” Marie said.
“Show ‘em the one where I introduce the kids to real football,” Dakota said eagerly.
“Puh-lease, that’s so not real football. I mean, the ‘ball’ isn’t round, and most of the time you don’t kick it. They should call it hand-egg,” Pat said. “American football is just a sport for fat kids in a country of fat kids.”
“Hey, you’re a kid in that country of fat kids,” Dakota countered.
“But, I am no longer a kid,” Pat said.
“Come on, don’t kid yourself. Being twenty-one doesn’t make you a real adult,” Dakota said.
“First, kudos on the pun. Second, if twenty-one isn’t the age of adults, what is?” Pat continued.
“So, pictures of American football in Ecuador. Does anyone else have any other requests?” Marie asked.
“I nominate a picture of Ellen in a dress. I mean, a gem of that value should be published in a scientific paper,” Pat said.
“Remember, Ellen wouldn’t let us get a photograph though,” Marie said. Ellen was very much relieved of that fact.
“What about the mysterious cutie she was chatting up?” Pat asked, turning to Ellen. “Did he snap a picture of you to show to all his friends back home?”
Ellen shook her head.
“What is his name anyway? You’ve emailed him, so assumably you’re calling him besides ‘the love interest of Ellen Metcalf,’” Dakota asked. “Is he anyone politically connected?”
“Honestly, I have no idea. We were just joking and pretending to be all aristocratic. I think the last one I addressed to ‘my incredibly contrary but always well-meaning friend,’” Ellen shrugged.
“The last one, eh? As in, you’ve already exchanged an extensive series of emails? And you say you’re not in love. You know what I would love? To see Ellen try to seduce this guy,” Pat said.
“I can just see it. ‘Are you made of copper and tellurium, because you are CuTe,’” Dakota said, pushing up an invisible pair of glasses on his nose.
“‘You must be a good benzene ring because you’re pleasantly aromatic,’” Pat said salaciously to Dakota, swirling an invisible erlenmeyer.
“‘Oh baby, quench me and work me up!’” Dakota exclaimed, whipping of his invisible glasses.
“Alright, alright you guys,” Ellen said forcefully, glowing bright red. “That’s enough.”
Pat and Dakota dissolved into chuckles.
“Marie, I got the card of the photographer who was there, if you want to contact her about photographs of the event,” Ellen said, trying to regain her coolness but a brilliant pink still tickling her cheeks as she combed through her backpack.
“Thanks, Ellen,” Marie said as Ellen handed over the card. “Is there any information that anyone wants me to tell the writer for the newsletter?”
“Dakota ‘the Kodiak’ Bear is a purveyor of football knowledge to the underprivileged,” Dakota announced.
American football, not real football,” Pat interrupted, rolling her eyes.
“Any serious suggestions?” Ellen asked.
“You know Dakota and I are incapable of being serious,” Patricia said, crossing her arms. “That’s biased.”
Ellen smiled and shook her head. “I think you’re good Marie.”
“Good. They want to do the interview tomorrow. Next week I’ll show you the draft and everyone can approve it,” Marie said.
“Awesomeness. Anywho, if we’re all wrapped up here, I have a hot date with some dead guy’s poetry, so I’ll just skip right off to it,” Pat said, clapping her hands together.
“Is that John Donne thing due tomorrow?” Dakota asked.
“Why else would I be doing it?” Pat countered.
Dakota groaned, sliding down in his seat. “Dammit, so much for trying to work out today.”
“Come on, the pale and tubby look is all the rage these days. Come to the library and we can discuss how horny the old bastard was when he wrote ‘The Flea,’” Pat said as she retrieved her backpack. “You can call on Zeus to smite to John Donne later.”
Dakota left with Pat, and Ellen scampered off to play with her program some more.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Sister Ella - Chapter One

“Ugh, I hate parties,” Patricia said as she collapsed into a chair. “I never want to serve another drink in my life. I don’t care if it’s for charity and those are some dignitaries I am supposed to be honored to meet. That fat old, guy spilled jelly down my shirt, and this is my last white shirt! I mean, it was on sale for six bucks at Wal-Mart, but still!”

Ellen and Dakota joined her. Ellen pushed the bangs she was growing out out of her eyes for the hundredth time as Dakota began drinking from one of champagne flutes from the tray he was carrying.

“Think of the starving children in Africa, Pat,” Dakota said, wiping the champagne from off his lips. “Yech, people pay lots of money for this? Give me a soda over this any day of the week.”

“We are such plebes with our Wal-Mart clothes and our sponsored by Pepsi beverage preferences,” Ellen said with a self-defacing laugh. “On the bright side, I think we have the rich people liquored up enough so that they’ll be stumbling over themselves to outbid each other for the auction.”

“What are you guys, vampires?” Marie opened the kitchen door and turned on the light. She was unique in the fact that she wasn’t dressed in the uniform of a server, but in a glittery ball gown. 

“Yes, and now we’re melting. Oh, what a world!” Patricia declared, sliding farther in her seat and onto to the dusty floor. The party had been catered by some outside company who had jumped at the opportunity to serve food for rich people and call themselves philanthropists, which left the kitchen conveniently empty, hence the grouping of servers.

“Really, guys. What are you doing down here?” Marie asked. As she moved, the silver dress she wore sparkled magnificently, even in the harsh fluorescent light. Her hair had been perfectly coiffed into an intricate braided bun with small ringlets hanging at appropriate places. She looked as at place with the ragtag servers as a rose among weeds.

“If I have to inquire if the sir or madam would like an 
hors d'oeuvre one more time, I’ll strangle someone,” Pat explained.

“I was thirsty,” Dakota said, raising his champagne flute, which he was draining despite his aforementioned distaste of the drink.

“Out of drinks, and I saw Pat and Dakota disappearing, so I figured I would emulate.” Ellen waved her tray back and forth to demonstrate its emptiness.

“You guys, they have all sorts of important people out there. I mean, Dakota, don’t you want to meet the French ambassador? And there’s that senator and even the Vice President,” Marie nudged.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Although, I’d prefer it if the way I started my political career was not by serving the ambassador drinks,” Dakota groaned, standing up.

“Sit back down, Kodiak. She’s just pulling your chain because she doesn’t want to mingle with the minglers all by herself,” Patricia said as she rubbed her temples. Marie decided to ignore the comment.

“You can just tell him that you’re the vice president of the UNICEF chapter at the University of Texas, Houston and that your very interested in his policies with France,” Marie explained.

“All I hear is, ‘Pwease come with me because I’m too afraid to goggle at a hot politician’s son by myself.’ Personally, m’dear historian, I’d say you’d have better luck finding someone already in a pretty dress to oogle with you. I thought you said your little sister was coming with you and your parents,” Patricia commented.

“Well, you know Sophia. She’s only fifteen, and she thought her dress didn’t fit her right and got a little angry when my mother didn’t rush off to buy her a new one. She says she won’t eat until the dress fits her. She’s indisposed to say the least.” Marie blushed slightly and gave a grim smile.

“God, and I thought my little sister was a brat,” Pat exhaled. “Dakota, don’t go with her. I saw that French ambassador, and he was schnockered. You’d be wasting your breath.”

“I don’t really want to go out there, not dressed as a waiter. It’s not what we are supposed to do anyway. Plus, I thought your parents wanted you to be out there making political connections on your own,” Dakota said finally.

Marie deflated. She stuck out her bottom lip and gave a pout, before she realized what she was doing and retracted the lip. Pat had already burst out laughing however.

“Ellen, can you come out with me?” Marie asked, switching tactics.

“Only to serve you a drink,” Ellen said. “Dakota’s right. As servers, we should probably only serve the guests, not mingle with them. We only have about four more hours until the party’s over.”

“Then, we spend the next six cleaning-up and return to our respective abodes deader than doornails,” Pat interjected. “That’s a strange phrase to think about, ‘dead as a doornail.’ Why is a doornail so dead?”

“Well, I’ve read that the phrase came from around a hundred years before Shakespeare. To make a nail ‘dead,’ they would flatten the opposite side so that it couldn’t be removed or used again. This made the bond stronger, which was important since they hadn’t invented the screw yet. Appending door to nail was probably just for the alliteration besides that the nails used in doors were commonly ‘deadened’,” Ellen explained cheerfully.

“How come you always answer my rhetorical questions?” Patricia asked with a groan.

“Because they are still questions that can be answered,” Ellen smiled.

“Note to self: never invite the trivia-collecting, all-knowing science geek again or risk being educated,” Pat said good-naturedly.

“Wait, Ellen, you are about my sister’s size. Do you want to put on her dress and come with me?” Marie asked.

“Oh my god, do it,” Patricia exclaimed, suddenly forgetting her tiredness and jumping from her chair.

“I haven’t wore a dress in years,” Ellen said, shaking her head.

“All the more reason. Let’s see some evidence of that second x chromosome,” Dakota added.

Ellen laughed. “You know, dressing up wouldn’t prove I’m a girl. I mean, there have been plenty of spies who have posed as women in order to infiltrate different areas. In particular, there was a case where I heard about a man during eighteenth century France-” Ellen countered.

“Enough with historical figures, what about your life? You have to go put on that dress. It would give me so much joy it’s hard to articulate,” Pat declared.

“Think about it logically. You like logic. When is the next time you’ll get the opportunity to rub shoulders with the political elite?” Dakota asked.

“Probably not until you are an old, gray, distinguish Nobel Laureate, i.e. in fifty years,” Pat returned. “Come on. Take the chance!”

“But, don’t you guys need me to help serve?” Ellen asked weakly.

“Hell no! I plan to spend most of my evening back here anyway, but now I can do it with a stupid grin on my face, imagining you in pumps. Have you ever worn high-heeled shoes? I mean, ever?” Pat asked.

“Well, no,” Ellen admitted.

“That’s it, you’re going. Come hell or high water!” Patricia asserted. Dakota nodded his affirmation.

Ellen examined their faces and glanced at her watch. She bit her lip, thinking.

“Please,” Marie said, bright eyes opening wide in a perfect facsimile of a small child. Ellen sighed, realizing she was beaten. 

“Fine, but only for an hour. I really don’t like fancy clothes, and I have a tendency of spilling whatever I’m eating or drinking on them,” Ellen said. “I mean, that dress could probably feed twelve African children.”

“With this fundraiser, we’ll feed thousands. Now get up there and make me happy,” Patricia proclaimed.

Marie led Ellen up the stairs to give her the flouncy, golden dress. It was too big in some places, too small in others, and it showed. The moderate heels was enough to cause Ellen to wobble miserably. The most that could be done with the rat’s nest of curls was a simple bun restrained by Ellen’s pen, and it took the combined efforts of Dakota, Patricia, and Marie needle and wheedling for any amount of make-up to be applied.

“I feel silly,” Ellen said as the process was complete, scrunching her face and lips  as she tested the flexibility of the make-up. “I’m sure a dead fish would look more appropriate in this dress than I do. I’m just not meant for the high life. Give me a night in the lab in my pajamas any day over this.”

“I’ve heard you were a girl, but I’ve never seen the evidence until now. I’m going to take a picture,” Patricia declared, fumbling for her pockets in glee.

“No, please don’t,” Ellen begged, her blush overcoming the make-up.

“Fine. But you hardly look like you anyway. I swear, I could show it to your stepmom, and she would have no idea who she was looking at,” Patricia humphed.

“I hardly have any idea who I’m looking at,” Dakota agreed.

“Yes, yes. I’m all dressed up. Now, can I get this over with? Your sister must have a tiny rib cage, I can hardly breath. Does the reduced lung capacity affect her aerobic performance, out of curiosity?” Ellen asked.

Patricia rolled her eyes. “Please, Marie, take her away before she goes all science on your ass. It will get all over your sister’s pretty dress. Then, you’ll sister will start spouting Newtonian Laws and it’ll be a sign of the apocalypse!”

“Hey, Newton’s cool,” Ellen protested.

“Come on. Let’s leave the children alone,” Marie said, pulling Ellen away.

Ellen did not know what to think as they descended into the ballroom. It was different as a server where everyone ignored her and refused to look at her face when they raided her tray. Now, people looked, mostly at the stunning young woman on her right, but she was included in that field of vision.

“How can you stand it?” Ellen asked in a whisper.

“Now you know why I wanted back up. They laughed at me, but it truly is frightening,” Marie returned. “I’m going to get a drink, do you want anything?”

“No, I’d just spill it on the dress,” Ellen said.

“Wait here, then.” Marie disappeared among the throngs of people, and Ellen was alone. She was quite unsure what she was supposed to be doing. She was in the middle of the room, where everyone around her had formed into circles, discussing one topic or another. She knew none of the people, so it felt rude to join a circle, but it felt awkward to stand out in the center. Not to mention that each seemed like they had enough money for its representation in dollar bills to span from the Earth to Jupiter and enough political pull to declare war on Switzerland.

Ellen was quite sure Marie had gotten lost before she saw her chatting privately with a young man around her age. Marie’s cheeks were bright red and she had an ear-to-ear smile that showed off each one of her perfect teeth. Well, Marie didn’t need Ellen anymore. Maybe she could just sneak back to the kitchen as the dress was quite itchy and the shoes, impossible.

“I don’t believe we’ve been introduced,” someone said from behind her. It was a tall, dark, thin, young man in a expensive-looking black suit. He gave her a small bow and raised her hand to his lips

Suddenly, she wanted to laugh. It was all entirely too ridiculous. People didn’t actually act like this, did they? He was probably in a similar boat to her and was joking around. With this in mind, Ellen made her introduction. “My name is Mademoiselle Joelle de Lafayette.” She had no idea why she decided upon French lineage when she didn’t look remotely French, but she went for it with the help of the Marquis de Lafayette of the American Revolution. She attempted a haughty look, but couldn’t keep it, and she burst out laughing. The man, however, was better at keeping a straight face throughout the charade. He only smiled lightly.

“I am pleased to meet your acquaintance, Mademoiselle Lafayette. My name is Atamai Iona, Crown Prince of Naun,” he said with a grave air.

“Nice to meet you, Prince Iona,” she smiled back, curtsied, then completely abandoned the pretense. As she knew she must look out of place, she decided to explain herself. “My friend back there begged me to come with her, and then she decided to go make goo-goo eyes at the blonde guy. How come you’re standing in the middle of the circle of isolation?”

“The circle of isolation?” he asked.

She traced the circle around them with a finger. “You know, they stand around and talk, and you feel too awkward to attempt to squirm your way into the conversation. You don’t know anybody, so you stand in the circle of isolation, attempting to look like you’re doing something and not a complete loner. At least, that’s where I was at.”

“Well, I saw a very pretty, young little lady-” he started.

“I’m not nearly as young as I bet you’re thinking. I’m not prepubescent; I just have a baby face. My twenty-first birthday was actually earlier this month. And you don’t need to attempt the pretty stuff either. I know what I’ve got is up here,” she tapped the side of her head, “Not here.” She gestured broadly to her body.

“You’re an academic?” he asked.

“A computational chemist in training. I don’t get my bachelor’s until the end of this year. Then, I’ll get my PhD. And, who knows? Maybe I can become a science advisor to Congress and clear up some of their continued misinformation on climate change, alternative energies, and the like,” she explained. “What about you?”

“I graduated with a political science degree from Oxford,” Atamai returned.

“So, are you going to become a politician?” Ellen asked.

“Well, that’s the current plan,” he said with a smile.

“Awesomeness. My friend wants to become a politician too. He’s a server, and was quite disappointed that the French ambassador was too drunk to converse with,” Ellen said. “His big thing he wants to fix is global education. His brother was a computer science major, so together they are attempting to build a cheap computer with capabilities to connect to the Internet via satellite along with some elementary school software. If they can distribute them and get everything working, a little girl from Zimbabwe can still learn mathematics like any American girl.”

“He has big plans,” Atamai returned.

“My friends all do. It is what college brings out in you: the idea that you can change the world. It is the reason that I wished it was easier for more people to attend college. Ideally, everyone would be educated to about a college level as with a democracy, you can’t afford to have an uneducated public.

“It’s ridiculous that in times of economic hardship, college tuition can skyrocket and they cut funding to scientific research. Instead, they provide stimulus to banks and auto manufacturers? Really, science and education are the two keys to making the country greater. They push the world forward,” Ellen concluded.

“I do not mean to contradict you, but have you ever thought that completing college doesn’t make achievers, but it’s just that achievers are the type to at least make attempts to attend college? Surely you’ve heard of the successful college dropouts: Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg,” he returned.

She gave a sly smile. “You don’t mean to contradict me? Please, by all means, contradict. It is only through contradiction that better opinions can be formed. You know, thesis, antithesis, and the final, superior synthesis. Yes, college does attract more of the academically- and success-oriented people, but there is still an inherent instillation of drive to most people that attend. I couldn’t help but notice all the successful drop-outs you named were computer people. Why not Frank Lloyd Wright or Buckminster Fuller?”

“I did not know that Wright dropped out of college. You said you were a computational chemist?” he asked.

“And endless collector of historical trivia. Don’t ask me why, but little stories like that stick in my head. Be glad I remember the name though. Usually, it’s more like, ‘Did you know there was this one guy who did this really cool thing-’” Ellen said bashfully.

He smiled. “So, do you believe college education should be free, Mademoiselle Lafayette?”

“Please, call me Joelle,” she said, laughing as she failed in her attempt to seem as if her first name was reserved for none but the closest of companions. “And as for your question, Prince Iona, we come to a difficult conundrum. Part of the reason people work so hard in college that it does cost them money, so they don’t want to waste it. If it were made free, it might end up like high school all over again. And if we simply made if of maintaining a certain GPA, than the professor would be overwhelmed with whimpering students begging for their grades to be bumped up. It’d be worse than the pre-med gunners! It is almost as if we need another value commodity to trade in exchange for schooling.”

“And what would that value commodity be, Joelle?”

“Well, that is where I am at an impasse. I’ve also thought that we could have students pay for their education by doing research, but after working in a lab for a couple of years, I’ve realized that that is impractical. If you take enough classes, then you cannot do enough research, and vice versa, Prince Iona,” Ellen returned.

“If you don’t mind, call me Atamai. I mean this in the most amiable way, but it seems you are more than capable of listing many problems, but have you suggestions for solutions? Imperfection is the nature of the world, and unless some greater alternative can be reached, was is the result of bemoaning it?” he asked.

“Actually, I do, well sorta. I think the solution lies a lot in how underprivileged Americans and the world view education. If we can get the message to them that education can build a better life, then we can have leagues of innovators from every walk of life that need no prodding to study. We could make college free. I mean I study plenty hard even though I’m on scholarship, so surely this can be extended to many more students. Then, we bump taxes up a little to pay for it, and you won’t have a bunch of people voting some guy in as president because he reminded them of their favorite actor who once played a president.”

He gave her a questioning look, and she explained. “It’s why my sister voted for our last president.”

“You have definite opinions, Joelle. Implementation is always more difficult that saying, ‘bump up taxes,’” he said with a laugh.

“Too true.”

“And you forget that some feel that the metaphysical subjects most often associated with a college education could never improve their lives. Moreover, if everyone is a scientist or a doctor or a computer programmer, who will be the truck drivers and the janitors?” he continued.

“So, correct me if I’m wrong, but you are saying we should allow the economic barriers between the underprivileged and an education stand because we need someone to clean up our trash?” Ellen asked, eyebrows raised.

He seemed ready to offer a retort before he looked at Ellen who had one eyebrow raised expectantly. He shook his head and smiled. “I suppose it makes me seem a little heartless when you phrase it in that matter."

“Just a wee bit, Atamai.” She grinned back. “But we would need no truck drivers or janitors if our computer programmers were able to create robots to do those menial labor tasks for us. Ah, but I forgot the robot revolution that would be on our hands. We would have to start giving them voting rights and offering them an opportunity to attend college, and we would be right where we started.”

“I’m not quite sure how, but you went from public education to a robot revolution. I’m quite impressed, Joelle,” he laughed. It was a genuine laugh. It made his dark eyes gleam brilliantly, breaking the cool, polished demeanor of the hideously rich.

“Well, I am quite impressive,” Ellen said, attempting a false aristocratic air, but failing as she lapsed into laughter half-way through and fell off her high heels. He caught her hand, but she waved him off.

“Whoever designed high-heeled shoes hated women. Oh wait, I know this. They were designed for keeping nobles above the sewage in the streets, but historians theorize that like the lotus feet-binding of Asia, eventually served to limit the movements of women. However, it was, huh, who was it? One of the Medici women." Ellen bit her lip, trying to probe her memory, but gave up on tracing the name.

"Anyway, she was said to popularize them as a fashion statement. So, I guess it depends on who you want to credit with the invention of high heels, and I’m rambling again, sorry. There’s too much in my brain that I want to sputter out all at once,” she said with a laugh. She took off the shoes and examined one of them. “That’s quite unfortunate; I managed to crack the heel of this one. I borrowed them, and I would rather not replace them. They probably cost as much I get from working in the lab for a month or two. They don’t even have a label!”

“My family has a cobbler if you wish me to see if he could fix it,” Atamai said.

“You have a cobbler?!? I’m sorry, but that is made of incredibly 16th century awesomeness. That’d be very nice if he could fix this though,” she handed him the shoe. “Here, you can have my email.” She fished out the pen she was using to secure her bun, allowing her hair to tumble down her shoulders and her bangs directly into her eyes. She blew them out of the way with short burst of breath while she went to write on his hand, but he looked confused.

“Can I write my email on your hand? Or here, you give me yours, and I’ll email you,” she said, taking the pen back to apply to her own hand.

He gave her his email, which she jotted down quickly. She noticed that Dakota and Patricia were both out and about, darting around to groups of people quickly. The auction must be starting soon, and they had to do their best to make people drunk and lenient with their wallets. She should help, as Marie no longer needed her.

“I have to go, but I’ll email you,” she said with a wave. He might’ve said something to her, but she didn’t hear. She ducked around people, before she found her way to the kitchen. She quickly scrubbed off her make-up, undid the dress, and hopped back into her server uniform and spent the rest of the night serving drinks, and cleaning up afterwards.

Marie joined them to clean-up with an enormous smile. “So, who was the blond guy that swept you off your feet? Ellen was telling us she went out there with you only to have you disappear on her,” Patricia taunted, complete with kissy noises. She leaned on her broom.

Marie blushed. “It was the ambassador’s son. His name’s Raoul.”

“Ooh lah lah, Raoul! Does he have a sexy French accent and call you his ‘mon chouchou’?” Patricia asked. “It’s not every day one of us gets all flirty with a fancy French guy, spill the dirt!”

Marie was blushing so furiously now that it seemed her golden blond hair had taken on a warm tint. She batted her eyes in embarrassment as she attempted to find some spot of floor she could comfortably avert her eyes to. “We just talked.”

“Just ‘talked’, eh? I think we all know what that's code for,” Pat was winking heartily, and Dakota was attempting to stifle his laughter. Even Ellen was smiling at the obvious fluster Marie was getting herself into.

“Ellen was talking to a boy too!” Marie blurted. Both Dakota and Pat whipped their heads around so quickly, Pat tripped on her broom and fell into a pile of tattered napkins and streamers. Still, even spread on the ground, Pat stared. The whole group falling into an utter stunned silence. Ellen quickly took a step back, finding herself uncomfortably at the center of attention.

“What?” Pat exclaimed after a moment.

“No way! Not Ellen!” Dakota echoed.


“It can’t be.”

“It’s a sure sign of the Apocalypse.” The two stared at Ellen, expecting her to dismiss the accusation quickly. When she didn’t, the two turned to each other, enormous grins growing on their face.

“Oh my god, this is the happiest day of my life!” Pat exclaimed. “Ellen. Our Ellen Metcalf with a boy. I never thought the day would come when we could finally find evidence that Ellen is indeed human with carnal desires. So much for that ivory tower you have been constructing all these years. Now that you have a boy, you can have we little Ellen-lings-”

“Wait, wait, wait. Hold on there, fellas,” Ellen said, finally regaining herself. “We talked for like ten minutes, tops. We were just joking around. I didn’t even give him my real-”

“Do you like him,” Dakota asked suddenly, cutting off Ellen’s explanation.

Ellen could feel the weight of their stares glaring into her. She felt as if they could see into her, sense any lie or falsification she made. She gulped, noting that their grins were growing. “He was nice.”

Pat jumped from the ground and did a sort of mid-air jig. Marie was smiling calmly and benignly as she took Ellen’s hand, “I think it’s sweet.”

“Hey, look guys. Calm your horses. We are adults here, not preteen adolescents snickering about who likes who,” Ellen said, trying to find her way back into her stable emotionless bubble.

“Have you ever even kissed anybody?” Pat asked.

“Well, no-” Ellen started. Her ears felt hot. She must be blushing, and she hated herself for it. She wasn’t ashamed of herself. She kept busy throughout high school and college; there was little time for fraternizing, and she liked it that way. Still, their demeaning laughs made her feel like a child again.

“For all intents and purposes then, you are still a preteen adolescent, at least romantically.” Pat was beside herself.

“She has a point,” Dakota noted.

“Can we please get off my lack of a love life and the fact I talked with a male of similar age,” she asked. It was strange, but even as they were annoying her, it was hard to get angry. She felt as if someone had inflated a balloon in her stomach, lightening every load from her shoulders. She couldn’t figure out what the feeling was coming from.

“We should, you guys,” Marie assented.

“Okay, okay. Fine. But let me know one thing: did you guys have plans to meet again or exchange phone numbers?” Pat asked, settling herself back to leaning on the broom.

“No,” Ellen said, glorious in the triumph of a poorly worded question.

“What’s on your hand then?” Dakota asked. Ellen immediately withdrew the offending limb behind her and was summarily accosted by Pat and Dakota.

“Hey, you guys,” Ellen laughed. It was now almost preposterous their curiosity.

Pat had wrested one of Ellen’s arms from her side while Dakota had the other. “Read it, Kodiak,” Pat ordered attempting to restrain Ellen’s squirming hand.

“It’s an email address,” Dakota said triumphantly before Ellen wiggled free.

“Ah, so you’re going to email, Prince Charming, eh?” Pat asked, heartily winking.

“Marie talked to a guy too, how come I get all the attention now?” Ellen asked.

“Because you’re Ellen,” Dakota responded in a way that he suggested this was a very reasonable argument. The others nodded their agreement.

“Fine. I have his email. I was going to email him because he offered to have one of the shoes I borrowed repaired because I kinda broke it. By the way, sorry, Marie. But that’s it. End of story. No princes nor pumpkins nor fairy godmothers,” Ellen said, shaking her head. “Let’s finish cleaning up before it’s too early in the morning.”

“Who uses ‘nor’ anymore?” Dakota asked in a reflective manner.

“Ellen and dead, white guys,” Pat said with a nod, beginning to resume her sweep of the room. “Who else?”

Dakota gave a laugh, but eventually eveyone’s desire to go home and sleep overcame their need to torture Ellen, for which she was exceedingly grateful.

“Ellen and a guy. Now that is gonna keep me merry for a while,” Pat whispered under breath as they left the hall.

It seemed strange to Ellen that they had suddenly thrust her into this relationship, but the even stranger thing was that she wasn’t even that repelled by it. She guessed she hadn’t known the guy enough to dislike him. That must be it. Familiarity bred contempt.